Kill yourself first. This is the most important rule, probably not listed on any do it yourself website. Before you even bother to assemble the paraphernalia of mass killing jump off a building and fly vertically or leap from a bridge (and let the raging waters swarm around you, pull you down and away.) You owe it to those you plan to kill out of love or spite or ideology – the children who are angels still; the women who mistook your tricky twists of fear for depth of character; the strangers who haven’t even dreamt of you; your mother and father staring at their hands. Newspapers all too often carry weighty words that cannot speak our incomprehension. You rarely stick around that we might peel away the layers to find you naked in your dark corner. So, do us all a favour; make yourself a distant sound, a tremor felt from afar. Let us hear of you in passing as one who was swallowed by a sadness, as one whom the creeping mists took, alone, solitary.